Category Archives: Self Care

Reminiscing…

I recently complained, “my bedroom has more equipment than personality…”

Take  a look for yourself…

image

What a lot of clutter!  I would like to point out the Dreamcatcher and the framed photograph of trees on the shores of a lake. The portrait above of the woman sitting in an armchair also hangs on my wall.  It is a portrait of my great-grandmother.  My grandmother painted this portrait of her mother-in-law; I’m sure that’s a story in and of itself.  The painting takes me back to another time and place that I can only imagine…

I like to remember the days when the pictures and posters on my bedroom walls were important. They identified my interests and my preferences in music. I pasted on my walls artists I admired, as well as musicians I adored.  On my walls, I taped postcards of places I wanted to visit. My walls expressed my aspirations…

It just struck me, my bed is facing my window.  I’m still looking out. I don’t go very far, but my imagination does…

painting by S. Conti Niccolai

Rubber lips

Listen to me. When you’re stressed and tense, the thing to do is to use your rubber lips and blow some raspberries. Seriously the more you do it, the sillier you feel, that’s how it works.

So the other night, I’m up and awake. My body is working against me and it’s keeping me awake. My legs are twitching. I can’t sleep and I am angry. I am shaking the bed rails, slamming them with my fists! I’m angry! The angrier I am, the more stressed I become and I want to scream!

What do I do?  I pucker my lips, blow air out and make a ‘raspberry’ sound, a little bit of tension is released. I do it again and a smile creeps on my face. I do it again. I feel a little bit silly and I do it again. Silly feels good. I notice I can’t hold any tension in my face. When I pretend my lips are made of rubber and blow air out through them, making a silly sound, the wrinkled tension set between my eyebrows releases. I feel like laughing. I blow again! It feels better to be silly than angry.  I can laugh at myself and I can laugh at my situation…mmmm? not quite. At least I relax a bit and I don’t feel as frustrated and angry anymore.

And now from youtube a baby blows raspberries and giggles hysterically…

https://youtu.be/bPYvluJlwHA

 

And everything changed…

actually, that’s not true; moving around continues to be just as difficult. However, I am in a better frame of mind; it just switched. Like the time I dreamt of apple blossoms, when I was in my early 20s and feeling really down. The world was a dark place and everything I did was wrong. Then one night while I slept, I dreamt of apple blossoms. I watched as they unfurled their pink blossoms. Petal by petal opened, as the sun warmed my cheekbones and I smiled, lifting my face to the sun. I awoke refreshed.

In March, I thought I was dealing with yet another bladder infection. I was feeling down and went to the doctor to leave a urine sample and get another prescription for antibiotics. I was sad. Again? I can’t keep doing this! I will become immune to antibiotics. Three days later, I phoned the doctor’s office and was told the blood work came back clear. I did not have an infection. I ripped up that prescription and felt lighter. Whatever I was doing to keep the infections at bay was working. A few days later I woke up, looked out my bedroom window and smiled at the blue sky. It just switched; the day was going to be a good one. Then a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time dropped by for a visit. I got a lovely card in the mail, two in fact. If I was already feeling good, the feeling had solidified.